Python Predicts that the Riders win the Grey Cup

Roughrider Python Prognostications

Check back on Sunday November 25 before the Riders play the Blue Bombers in the Grey Cup to find out what Horatio the Python predicts the outcome of the game to be, and find out how he makes his predictions.

Words of WIsdom from Tyson Chan

Last night Tyson, Chuck, Dani, and I were playing some casual drinking games and shooting the shit, before too long Tyson was drunk out of his mind. This morning he was pretty hung over and couldn't remember a lot of what happened, and he seemed pretty pissed off when he realized his toe nails were painted red. Below are some of the funnier things he was spouting off about that we were able to write down.

"Well look at you gravity, I will go imperial on your ass"

"I cannot pick a restaurant that serves good portions like this, and I don't drive a Sante Fe"

"I'm serious like a satellite radio"

"Vanna just walks around and touches the letters, they just say V or W or 24th letter of the alphabet"

"Do I get a trip or a free spin, or what the fuck ? How about a W ?"

"If I bought a vowel I'd be broke, so spin the fucking wheel"

"well, is it the queen of diamonds ? My peripheral vision is flawed"

"I am going to warp to the next level right now"

"Now I learnt that myself, Chuck Norris network, oh no thats plagarism"

"You know prematurre card laying is a felony"

"You and Mr. Mugs can go fuck yourselfs"

"Big sheep dog in grade two, see Pat run, see Pat fuck, that fucker taught me to read, I'm just throwing that out there"

UPDATE

"It runs really good, I took out the back seat so I could have firewood"

2007 Abernethy Slow Pitch Champions

Highlight Reel

Beer Advisory !!!

As this hallowed weekend of consumption begins there is some disturbing news coming from the world of beer. Bottles of Stella Artois beer in Ontario and British Columbia have been tampered with.

So far only six bottles have been discovered that were tampered with. The bottles had an expiration date of 2005, but more current labels were glued over top and the bottles were filled with concentrated alcohol. None of the people that purchased the beer became sick because they noticed the high concentration of alcohol and spit it out. Stella cans, and draft have not been affected and so far the liquor stores aren't affected either because the tainted bottles were sold in restaurants.

This probably isn't going to affect many beer drinkers in Saskatchewan, even if it is the weekend of Craven Country Jamboree, now if it were tainted Pil or Boh we might have a problem, but I haven't heard of any issues with either of those brands for years. Now that I think of it, who found the mouse in their Pil or Boh, was it skitter or mushy ?

Australia to crack down on Aborigines

The Australian Prime Minister anounced plans to ban pornography, and alcohol from that continents native population, as well as to have more strict rules for welfare to help prevent child sex abuse.

Will Canada be far behind ???

Puke Show

If you're stomach upsets easily this may not be for you !!!

Ugly Women

Horatio

Fast _ D D _ ?

Want to buy a vowel ? Who does this remind you of ? Let me give you a hint... red chevy truck, katepwa parking lot, jarred isn't allowed to drive...

only difference is, the guy i'm thinking of managed to drive home after we woke him up.



Passed Out With The Engine On - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Another Strange Drunk Driving Offence

A woman that took a midnight horseback ride through a northeast Alabama town has been charged with driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol after the horse she was riding rammed a police car and refused to stop for the police. Who do you charge, the horse or the woman ? There was a certain abnormally tall cowboy in Lemberg that rode his horse to the bar and actually had a hitching post constructed at the side of the building.

Drinking in Coronach

This was recorded a few weeks ago in the Coronach Hotel. There are more videos that I still have to upload to YouTube, and they contain motor boating between titties, and green thongs, so stay tuned...

New Pictures

Lance copping a feel of Cory in Balcarres Bar

Lance and Cory Dancing in Balcarres Bar
Ross and Dani in Coronach Bar on St. Patties Day

(there will be some videos of Dani soon too, you won't want to miss them)

Zamboni driver wins appeal of drunk driving charge

The last time I was in Abernethy the Tampons were usually responsible for clearing the ice with the Aber Domes golf cart with the water tank. These days I believe the Aber Dome actually has a graffitti upped Zamboni, Dallas are you drunk when you clean the ice with your fancy Zamboni ? If so you have nothing to worry about now, as long as judges up here feel the same way as those in New Jersey do.

A judge in Newark New Jersey has overturned the drunk driving conviction of a Zamboni driver who's blood alcohol level was 0.12, when the legal limit in New Jersey is 0.08. His decision was based on the fact that Zamboni's can't carry passengers and don't operate on highways.

In 2005 a fellow employee of the man reported him to police when he was speeding on the ice and apparently almost hit the boards.

The operator of the Zamboni claimed that he did drink beer and vodka, but not until after he cleaned the ice, but he did admit to having sambuca with his breakfast coffee and two valiums.

Breakfast Meat is Back AGAIN !!! What have you missed ?

It has been a while since we updated the site, and since anyone has even layed their eyes on it.
What has happened since last time we updated ?
1) The Federal Budget has been passed despite the fact that Saskatchewan was ass raped like a sloppy seconds hooker at a wife swapping party. Whether you agree or disagree if Saskatchean needs, or deserves the revenue from non renewable resources, you're an idiot if you deny that the Federal government lied after they only gave Saskatchewan part of what they were promised.
2) I received self inflicted frost bite after viewing a video online with Chicken Wing and Dani.
3)Dani, Krystal, and Myself woke Brokeback(Chicken Wing) up at approximately 4 a.m. after shutting down the bar and drinking crazy glass riddled shots with Korean Dave. After that, the memory card from my camera mysteriously disappeared in what can only be described as some sort of Kung Fu Asian trickery. The card was taken because someone didn't want Breakfast Meat's loyal viewers to see what can modestly be described as a huge titted asian on a perky titted russian exploring their lesbian curiosity, while Chicken Wing defended his heterosexuality because the huge titted asian and perky titted russian couldn't give him a steamer. (don't worry, I got the memory card back and will be putting the videos of said lesbian curiosity on YourTube shortly)
4) Bucka got destroyed and puke showed on his birthday after he drank a fraction of the skunky wine that Cory and I drank. A severed Elk leg being draped over his neck might have also had something to do with the loss of his lunch, but I doubt it.

Root Beer, Ketchup Chips, Boobies, Titties, Ass, and Tough Guys

I'm not going to explain why Bucka is saying what he says in the video, you have to know him to understand.



A brief explanation of the next two videos for those of you out there that aren't as enlightened as those of us from Abernethy, and Balcarres. A tough guy shot consists of a line or pile of salt which is snorted up the nose similiar in fashion to a line of cocaine, then a shot of tequila is drank, and last but not least a lemon wedge is squirted in the eye. This is similiar to a two eyed turkey shot.

Portable Pubs

A company in the U.K. is the first in the world to create an inflatable portable pub.

Math explains beer goggles... What can't math do ?

(An)2 x d(S + 1)
β = _________________

√L x (Vo)2

thats right, that is the formula to explain beer goggles, looks like we all have a valid excuse now.

Moosehead comes to Saskatchewan

Now that Moosehead has entered Saskatchewan it is the only Canadian owned brewery that sells its products in every province.

About Time.

Dust on the bottle sang by Mike and Kohl

After drinking all day, this is Mike and Kohl singing their version of Dust on the bottle. Stay tuned for pictures of Chris tea bagging Mike.



Neither Ross or Bucka condone the acts against squishy hookers that Mike and Kohl portray in their song. No squishy hookers, kitty cats were harmed during the making of this video.

Snow Pitch---February 17, 2007

Breakfast Meat Is Back

Its been a while since i've posted, primarily because our host was having problems, but even if it wasn't there isn't a lot that was worth posting about.

One thing that was pretty neat happened today. A movie called Downloading Nancy was being filmed at the STC bus depot in Regina today.

On February 17th the annual snowpitch tournament in Balcarres is taking place followed by a cabaret at the hall.

New Years Eve Bash

Lindsay Peace is having a New Years Eve Bash at her house tonight. The address is 3328 Grant Road in Regina, and her phone number is (306)-584-3150 if you need to call her and get more detailed directions.

Coors Light King

I got these pictures in an email forward from Daralis, I don't know whether this email is true or not, but either way it is truly amazing to see that many empties in a house.
If anyone knows the facts and fallacies regarding this email, leave a comment.

below is the email exactly how I received it.

A SINGLE GUY LIVED IN THIS TOWNHOUSE FOR 8 YEARS IN CALGARY, ALBERTA. THE LANDLORD THOUGHT HE WAS THE BEST RENTER BECAUSE HE NEVER CALLED OR COMPLAINED AND WAS NEVER LATE ON A PAYMENT. THESE PICTURES DON'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO WHAT IT REALLY LOOKED LIKE. "CENTURY 21 REALTY" HAD ALREADY MOVED SOME OF THE CANS OUT, AND THEY HAD CAVED IN THE TUNNELS THAT THE RENTER HAD MADE TO GET TO THE BEDROOM, BATHROOM, AND KITCHEN.
All this, yet, you still don't see any dust or scattered clothes or any dirty dishes anywhere. Other than having a minor drinking problem, he was basically a very clean, organized person. Add to this, he was concerned about his health, proved by the fact that he drank a "Light" beer.

The Ultimate Remedy for Shyness

top ten signs your starship captain is drunk

as a star trek fan i had to post this, found it from Amy on the Web. and here is the rest.

Top Ten Signs Your Starship Captain is a Drunkard
10.) When Spock mind probes him, Spock gets hammered.
9.) Wakes up next to a Klingon chick at least once a week.
8.) Starts the ship’s self-destruct sequence just to fuck with the yeoman who blew him off in the officer’s lounge.
7.) Each time you discover a new planet he tells Spock to scan the surface for cheap scotch and loose females.
6.) The first thing he says when negotiating with Romulans is, “So, what’s the ale situation?”
5.) McCoy tells him, “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a bartender!”
4.) He keeps slipping down to the engineering room to “discuss ancient Scottish traditions” with Scotty.
3.) Giggles every time Spock says they should launch a “deep space probe.”
2.) Whenever a female yeoman brings him a clipboard he tries to open a tab.
1.) Is willing to make beer runs into the neutral zone.

CASH OUT

I thought i'd check out the bar tonight, while i was there i threw a $10 bill into a V.L.T. and played the frog game, and ended up turning that $10 into $260.

tazed while shotgunning beer

five levels of hangovers

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You worenice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...

don't actually do this to get booze, just ask BACON to pull

if anyone needs booze so bad that they would actually think about doing this, give your head a shake then go ask BACON to pull for you. He'll help you out.

health benefits of beer, yes you heard me correct BEER

it has long been known that moderate consumption of red wine helps people ward of heart disease and stroke, but did you know the same rate of consumption of beer is just as good if not better for you.

Wine is made entirely from grapes, water, and yeast, the grapes are a great source of sugars, fiber, and chromium, and the yeast is good source of vitamin B, but in the filtering process used in winemaking none of those good things survive until the final drinkable product. Beer on the other hand is made from grains(barley, wheat, corn, or rice), water, and yeast. The grains are loaded with vitamins that supposedly survive the filtering and fermentation, and the vitamins in the yeast also manage to stay around in unfiltered beer.

Don't believe me that wine or beer is good for you in moderation, look at the french. French people have a very low rate of heart disease despite their daily intake of fatty foods found in their cuisine. What is the cause of this, its their daily consumption of wine.

drinking troubleshooting

i borrowed the following from the National Pist, with a minor change of my own near the end.

SYMPTOM: The world seems dull and boring.

FAULT: You've sobered up.

ACTION: Get Drunk.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.

FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.

FAULT: Improper bladder control.

ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Pint Glass is too Small.

FAULT: You never voted for D.A.S.

ACTION: Get Drunk. Join D.A.S. and fight for the 'Fair Measure' of a Pint.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

FAULT: Glass empty.

ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

FAULT: You have fallen over backward.

ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.

FAULT: You have fallen forward.

ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.

FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.

FAULT: You are being carried out.

ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.

FAULT: Bar has closed.

ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.

FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

FAULT: You are dancing on the table.

ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.

FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

FAULT: You have been in a fight.

ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.

ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.

FAULT: The beer is too weak.

ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.

FAULT: Beer is just right.

ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Room spining, vision blurred.

FAULT: Your drunk.

ACTION: Maintain current level of drinking.

SYMPTOM: Suddenly become aware your at the base of porcelain statue.

FAULT: You passed out in the toilet.

ACTION: Check if you've missed last call.(see below)

SYMPTOM: Hear a bell ringing.

FAULT: Its last call.

ACTION: Buy several drinks.

SYMPTOM: Hear bells ringing.

FAULT: Your hung over. Its a new day.

ACTION: Buy several drinks.

SYMPTOM: Hear traffic, bed hard, cold and wet.

FAULT: You have spent the night in the gutter.

ACTION: Check flask, if empty fill it.

SYMPTOM: Head hurts, bright lights, and your in bed.

FAULT: You've wandered home drunk and its the morning.

ACTION: Take two analgesics. Drink water. Wait, then replace water with alcohol and continue drinking.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize the person you're in bed with, or the room you're in.

FAULT: You've been naughty.

ACTION: Check gender of partner in accordance to your orientation and proceed accordingly.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize the room you're in, walls grey.

FAULT: You've been arrested for public intoxication.

ACTION: Go back to sleep.

SYMPTOM: All of the above has occurred, last night.

FAULT: You've been in either Balcarres or Lemberg Hotel.

ACTION: Get Drunk. Rinse. Repeat.

going on the pil tonight

its harvest time and the crop isn't completely off yet, however the weather is the shits and won't permit us to get into the field to finish. since the weather is bad and the forecast isn't good for the next few days i will be going to yorkton this afternoon to abuse my body and mind by consuming copious amounts of alcohol. bucka, zrymiak, danny, renee, and it sounds like carissa and devan will be coming out tonight as well. all those coming out tonight bring your cameras if you have them so we can get some pictures to put on breakfast meat.

Paris Hilton arrested on suspicion of driving drunk

Hilton was pulled over in Hollywood under suspicion of driving under the influence after police noticed her vehicle being driven erratically and failing a field sobriety test. Hilton has been released on her own recognizance and will appear in court at the end of the month to learn if she will be charged with a misdemeanor. Nicky Hilton and her boyfriend Kevin Connolly of televisions 'entourage' picked Paris up at the police station to take her home. hopefully she didn't utter any obscenities about jews during her arrest.

Nicky Hilton and 'entourage' entering police station

Nicky Hilton and 'entourage' in police station
waiting patiently for Paris

I do like gin

apparently i'm going to die the same way as cenobyte. i suppose when i die i would like to die doing what i love, and i definately love gin. find out what horrible Edward Gorey death will you die?

Do I look like a mennonite ?

last night a passenger that got off my bus in Assiniboia asked if i was a mennonite ? he said i looked like a mennonite because i was dressed entirely in black. i informed him it was a uniform that i'm required to wear while driving the bus. then in Rockglen i accidentally broke my key for the STC agency off inside the door and had to call the owner of the building. her and her husband came down and opened the door from the inside so i could drop off the freight i had brought. hopefully tomorrow she will have a new key for me. other than that my night was very uneventful. today i went to sarcan and got around eleven dollars-woo hoo. i then returned some dvd+r's to the coop that i had bought a while ago because i thought they were dvd-r's when i had boughten them. i then bought some offsale at the bar, had a peanut butter and jam sandwich for dinner and now im doing this.